So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
