He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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