Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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