I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
