I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
