do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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