i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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