I hope mine doesn't look like that
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
