did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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