Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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