What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
