She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just blew my weed a kiss
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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