that's an acceptable place to lick
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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