just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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