I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
