You're a womanizer and a bitch.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
