Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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