yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Randomize
