Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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