I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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