theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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