And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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