I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
