Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
