Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
