i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
