i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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