franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
