I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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