period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
