NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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