ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
