WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
