note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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