Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
No more Irish car bombs ever.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
