accomplished twins. life is a go
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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