he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
