Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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