Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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