We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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