Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
