butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
