she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
