I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
