And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
