its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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