matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
