I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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