the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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