so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
