garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
