I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
