You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
