I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
